The Baby Daddy Double Standard

Updated: Jun 23, 2021

*DEEP, heavy, negro spiritual sigh*


As I'm sure you all have read or have seen on your social media timelines, Nick Cannon is expecting his 7th child (yes, SEVENTH)


To recap:


Nick and singer Mariah Carey welcomed their twins Monroe and Moroccan in 2011, his first 2 children. Their marriage lasted 6 years and according to Nick, Mariah was the only woman he'd ever marry.


The two seem to have ended their marriage amicably, siting that their views changed and led to their divorce in 2016.




Fast forward: Nick and his then girlfriend, former Miss Arizona, Brittany Bell welcomed their

first child (Nick’s 3rd child), Golden Cannon in 2017. Then, in December 2020 the two welcomed another child, Powerful Queen Cannon, a baby girl (Nick's 4th child). The two appeared to be in a relationship for some time, stating they had been on and off, calling it off some time in 2020 while he was dating model Jessica White, but then announcing that Brittany was expecting their baby girl. Jessica and Nick split soon after that... Yikes!



Then, in April 2021, DJ Abby De La Rosa confirmed she was pregnant with twins. The pair welcomed their sons, Zion and Zillion, last week, on June 14th, bringing Nick's grand baby-making total to 6 kids! The two were dating but it seems to be trouble in paradise as all traces of Nick were removed from Abby's IG after his 4th and most recent baby mama announced her pregnancy on June 20th, just a week after the twins were born. Talk about mess!





Alyssa Scott confirmed she was pregnant by Cannon as well by sharing maternity photos of

the two and announcing that they would be having a boy. This baby boy, reportedly going to be named Zen S. Cannon, will be Nick's 7th child, and the 4th born in less than 1 year.


It's not really clear what the nature of their relationship or it's duration were prior to the pregnancy reveal, but judging by Abby's reaction, it could have been a very tumultuous situation.


Apparently Nick has stated multiple times that he wants lots of children, but doesn't want or see himself being tied down to one woman again. Nick has dated a plethora of famous beauties from his ex wife, Mariah Carey to Kim Kardashian, Christina Milian, Chilli of TLC, Adrienne Bailon of 3LW and even his now co-host on The Masked Singer, Nicole Scherzinger.


Nick has always been a ladies man, and has even had recent rumors swirling about relationships with more than one woman at once. This coming with the very bunched-together timeline of the birth of his youngest children.


And though it seems inherently harmless because of Nick's known wealth and his financial ability to care for so many children, it has opened up a serious conversation. What are society's double standard of Babymamas vs Babydaddies having multiple children with multiple people? And is the idea that money is adequate enough to properly raise children in different households true?


LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!


First I want you to think about one thing: What thought comes with women having multiple father's to their children, and not being married to any of the fathers? YEAH... Usually doesn't get a great response right? Women are often insulted and berated at the mere thought that they weren't able to "keep" a man after having a baby by them. And in even harsher views like that of Kevin Samuels and his followers, women are considered less valuable and damaged goods when they have children and no husband or multiple fathers of their children.


This idea is particularly harmful for single mothers and is perpetuated quite often in the black community. Whether the father be absent or flakey, the responsibility typically falls on the mother for "choosing" the wrong men. But less on the man for being, well... shitty. And along with being absurd, misogynistic and downright ignorant, it is also, in this case and most cases, one-sided!


Though there are mixed reviews on the topic, one thing's for certain, Nick is not getting the same energy that is given to single mothers with multiple baby daddies. he is not berated for his inability to "keep" a woman and definitely isn't having his character or value questioned by the masses.


I guess the question I have to ask is why is it that a woman's value can be debated based on the amount of children and partners she's had, but a man can be praised for the same exact thing?


And more bias still, is the fact that most times, mother's are the custodial parent. And no doubt, a man of Nick's caliber is more than likely going to be very busy traveling, hosting and continuing with his career as expected. With that being said, does it make sense to praise a man creating what some would call "broken homes" that he cannot occupy at once, but scold a mother who usually has all of her children under one roof and in that way is raising them alone for a good chunk of the time?


Many people argue that having the means to raise these children is all that's needed in this situation but I ask you to think critically about what deficit these children face when their dad doesn't live with any of them or at the very least, stays with them sometimes, but not all the time:


New born babies require lot's of time and attention, especially in the wee hours of the night, what with sleeping schedules, feeding schedule, and the general restlessness of a new baby. Nick currently has a 6 month old daughter, 2 new born twin boys and will have another new born very soon from Alyssa.


We can assume 2 new born babies would be well off with both parents present, but what happens when there's another newborn in another home who needs that attention, or perhaps the 6 month old, or even a restless 4 year old or shit, even 9 year old's?


Children in general want their parents and expect them to be at their beck and call during these crucial years. Whether it's a birthday party or a basketball game, he's expected to be there, but there's a much greater chance of conflicting schedules when you add more kids and households to the mix.


He simply cannot split the time evenly among this many children in different homes, or even in the same home while they are so close in age and require a greater amount of attention at that young age. Money cannot buy an attentive and active father or replace what is missing from any of those households at a given time. Combined with the fact that he is a busy, working man, tack on the stresses that this can cause a mother during these crucial times, along with the possibility of PPD or burnout.


I say all this to say, although some people are praising this situation as Nick being fruitful and multiplying, it can be a less than ideal situation for the children and even the mothers who will lose out important time and attention from having a father who has to spread himself thin to cover all the households he's created.


But more importantly, I want to end the stigma that a woman is less valuable if she has multiple father's to her children, especially when men are not held to the same standard. BEING ABLE TO CREATE LIFE AND FURTHER CARE FOR IT, ESPECIALLY ALONE MAKES US VALUABLE AF! And while we're here, remember that your mama had multiple baby daddy's and she's your queen, so cut let's the bullshit when talking negatively about single moms and commend them for being everything a child has/needs bc a lot of them are THAT!


But anyway, best of luck to all parties involved, especially the children!









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